What is your ratio?

I just finished reading "The Science of Happiness-Barbara Fredrickson On Cultivating Positive Emotions" by Angela Winter. This interview was published in one of my favorite magazines, The Sun, back in May (ok, I'm a bit behind in my reading) and it really hit home for me.

Ms. Fredrickson's thesis is that if we can cultivate positive emotions, our lives will be happier and healthier. Positive emotions come and go and most of us want them because they give us pleasure and help us to move forward. Yet most of us do little to cultivate them, we just let them come and go, and frequently don't even notice them with a great deal of consciousness.

Her research has found that when we pay attention to the positive events in our lives, we experience more positive emotions. When we experience more positive emotions, we have fewer physical symptoms, we sleep better, we are more open to all that life brings us and more able to deal with it in a healthy way. The tipping point between negativity in life and a positive outlook, according to the data she and others collected is a ratio of about 3:1. When one brings awareness to three positive events for every one negative event, the attitude begins to shift towards the positive. She suggests a healthy ratio would be 5 or 6:1 to put yourself on solidly positive ground.

We don't control many of the events that happen in our lives, or how others treat us. What we can do is choose how to relate to it, and where to focus our attention and energies. It is easy to get stuck on all the difficulties of life - they are constantly pointed to on radio and TV, in print, and in our daily conversations with each other. For many of us, it is our default state.

Instead, allow yourself to see the entirety of your world and your experiences and you will find that there are a lot of positive ones in the mix. You can notice the car that cuts you off in traffic, and you can also notice that your favorite song is on the radio, that the sun is shining and that you are healthy and prosperous enough to be riding around in a car in the first place.

If you pay attention, you will find that there is truly a lot more that is right with you and the world than is wrong. You only need to take the time and energy to notice it, and to be healthier and happier as a result.